Harry Potter and the Evil Egg
by Amethyst Jackson
Summary: An Easter fic; stars Harry, Hermione, Chocolate Seamus, and Canary Neville.


Title: Harry Potter and the Evil Egg

Author: Katie Adams

Author E-mail: AmethystJackson@hotmail.com

Category: Comedy

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: For all four books

Keywords: Easter, Harry

Summary: Harry finds a mysterious Easter Egg, and an Easter Bunny causes chaos at Hogwarts.

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Some lines adapted from _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_. Credits to Emily for her idea of a havoc-wrecking Easter Bunny.

Author's Note: Happy Easter, all! This is for those of you that are going to have to suffer through a long family dinner that your uncle's evil girlfriend just had to have and her annoying midget children that desperately need discipline. Yes, I do have a dysfunctional family. Who doesn't?

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Harry Potter and the Evil Egg

By Katie Adams

"I wonder what's inside it," Hermione said, peering at the large green and silver egg. It was a most peculiar egg, quite a bit like those plastic eggs for Muggle children on Easter, but made of something heavier, like metal, and it had a tiny gold lock to prevent it from opening. 

"I don't think it's a good idea to find out," Harry cautioned, glancing at her with one eye, warily keeping his other on the egg.

"You think it might be dangerous?"

"Well of course!"

Harry had been walking across the Hogwarts grounds that morning to find some root of something for an assignment for Snape when his foot landed on something hard. Upon looking down, he saw the egg, camouflaged against the grass by its bright green color. He had immediately forgotten the root and rushed the egg back to the common room, where he and Hermione begin to investigate it. Hermione ran up to the girls' dormitory and returned with a large pile of books. Now she was flipping frantically through them, searching desperately for any mention of magical eggs.

"Maybe the Easter Bunny really exists," Hermione pondered, squinting at the egg then back at the text in her lap. "Then again…it is in enemy colors."

"What should we do with it?" Harry asked.

"I say we open it," Hermione said, glaring at the egg.

"How, exactly?"

"We find the key, of course," Hermione replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Once more, how, exactly?"

"Didn't you see the inscription?"

"No…"

"Well, look!"

On the back of the egg, something so tiny only Hermione could read it was engraved in the shell, shimmering silver.

"See? It says, 'Clavis habitare intra quo digito uno anttingere de eo Puer-Quis-Vivere.' That's Latin for, 'The key resides in the toenail of the Boy-Who-Lived.'"

"What? That's the most ridiculous –"

"Oh, wait! That's _touch_, not _toenail_! Whoops!"

"Now it makes sense," Harry said, "So, I have to touch it to open it? But I've already touched it."

"I think that's…light touch. Maybe you have to touch the lock lightly?"

"You don't know Latin very well, do you?"

"It's not my best subject," Hermione said with a sheepish grin.

"Are you sure we should open it?"

"Yes, go on," Hermione urged him.

Harry took a deep breath and picked up the egg, gently running his finger over the golden lock.

The egg grew suddenly hot, and Harry dropped it. The egg opened, and out hopped…a lavender rabbit. How it had stayed in that egg, Harry had no idea. It was far too big to fit.

"What the -?" Harry glanced at Hermione, and she shrugged.

The rabbit was now headed for Seamus, who hadn't noticed anything. Looking like a flying squirrel, the bunny jumped right onto Seamus's head. 

"Argh!" Seamus cried, "Get it off, get it off! It's evil!"

"It's just a rabbit, Seamus," Hermione pointed out.

"And have you ever been attacked by a rabbit? They've got big strong hoppy legs, and I've got loads of vulnerable flesh!"

Hermione and Harry both were snickering. "Seamus, I don't think it can really hurt –"

He was interrupted by Seamus turning into – chocolate?

Ginny cam through the portrait hole at that exact moment. "Ooh!" she squealed, "A chocolate Seamus!" Ginny had been dating Seamus for about a year, much to Ron's distress.

"Don't eat him just yet," Hermione warned. "That really _is_ Seamus, and…where did that rabbit go?"

"Rabbit?"

"Yeah."

"What does it look like?"

"It's purple," Harry told her simply.

There was a shout from upstairs, in the boys' dormitory. Ron came running down the stairs. "You guys! Neville just turned into a canary, and Fred and George aren't here anymore!"

"A – a canary?" Harry repeated. This whole rabbit business had him confused. It seemed harmless, and it certainly wasn't doing anything but causing mischief, but…it was _evil_, wasn't it?

"Yes, a bloody canary!"

"Did you see a purple rabbit?" Hermione asked.

Ron scowled at her. "I'm _serious_; Neville's a canary!"

"That wasn't sarcasm, Ron. A purple rabbit just turned Seamus into chocolate."

Ron looked over at Seamus and smiled with satisfaction. "Nice. Though, it should have ripped out his tonsils and –"

"_Ron!_"

"- Worn them as earrings."

"Why can't you just be nice to Seamus for once?" Ginny cried indignantly.

Harry looked over at Hermione again, and by a silent agreement they slipped away as Ron and Ginny argued over Ginny's love life.

They went warily up to the boys' dormitory, wondering if the rabbit would attack one of them. Sure enough, Neville was a very large canary, flapping its wings maniacally.

"Oh, what are we going to do?" Hermione moaned, watching sunshine yellow feathers fly about the room.

"What else? We've got to catch that rabbit."

"Um, you might want to hurry and catch it," Hermione said as the rabbit hopped onto Harry's shoulder.

Cruelly, albeit, Harry grabbed the rabbit by the ears and held it out in front of him as though it were a bomb. The lilac-colored rabbit bared its teeth and growled. He didn't know rabbits _could_ growl.

"Harry! I know what it is now!"

"Well?"

"It's a shape-shifter – a demon! Be careful, it could change…"

"And why would it be in the shape of a bunny?"

"Because, Harry, it looks harmless. And Easter is this weekend."

"Oh, yes, so now Voldemort follows religious holidays?"

Hermione shrugged. "Don't ask me to explain the motives of a madman."

"What do we do?"

"We get it back in the egg. Every demon of this type has its own cage or container, and when it's caught and forced into its cage, everything it's done in undone."

"How do we get it back in the egg? It's too big!"

"Ooh! I've got it! Just hold it here."

Hermione ran down the stairs and returned a moment later with the open egg and her wand.

"_Engorgio!_"

The egg grew suddenly larger, big enough to hold a rabbit. Harry forced it in – it was kicking wildly in an attempt to get loose, and Seamus had been right about the hoppy legs and vulnerable flesh – and Hermione snapped the lid shut. Neville immediately lost his feathers and became human again, though he was completely flabbergasted.

Harry took a deep, relieved breath as they waded through the feathers, and said, "Wonder what we'll get for Christmas?"

Hermione smiled, and they started to walk back downstairs. "I bet he'll send an evil Santa in a huge box, labeled –"

"I don't think you want to finish that sentence."

"I was going to say Chocolate Frogs, thank you very much."

"Oh, I bet you were," Harry replied with a devious grin.

Downstairs, things were nearly back to normal. Seamus was no longer solid milk chocolate, but he was covered in it, which had Ginny in a fit of giggles while Ron glared at the couple.

Hermione and Harry smiled at each other one last time. "Never a dull moment here, is there?" Hermione said.

"Welcome to my world."


End file.
